1. Capitalizing the first letter of any noun gives it abstract existence.
2. You get to use words like "thatness" and "whatness" and they actually mean something.
3. People automatically defer to your superior intelligence without bothering to find out if you actually have any.
4. Every word is open to redefinition...even that one.
5. You will never take another exam again.
6. The departments are so small they are just happy you're there. If you are female, they may set up a shrine and enter the room kowtowing.
7. If you run out of time to write a paper, you simply channel Descartes and posit the non-existence of deadlines. You're only dreaming after all.
8. There really is no wrong answer. You just have to be able to take enough text out of context to support whatever absurdity you are claiming.
9. It is expected that you will babble inchoerently, forget the mundane niceties of everyday life, spend massive amounts of money on an education and books normal people don't understand, smoke cigars, and spend the majority of your time in pubs (mostly doing the incoherent babbling thing and smoking the cigars).
10. When you write papers, if your classmates don't understand it you'll probably get a B. If you don't understand it, you're edging toward an A-. If your professor doesn't understand it, you just put yourself on the presidential honors list.
3 comments:
Did you come up with all of those on your own? They are too funny for words.
Number 7!!
hahaha you are far too brilliant, my friend. Be affirmed in your superiority. :-)
That's great! Now what inspired this new Revelation?
Post a Comment